Tonight you have a hot date.You've maybe seen this boy a few times before, or perhaps you barely know this boy after the one date you had last week. He seems to really be into you, and you know that no matter where things go one thing is for certain - you very much want him to seduce you tonight.
After all, he has not seen the "lucky you" along the inside of the zipper of your favorite backside flattering jeans. And you would very much like for him to see this (not to mention whats underneath..) You've tried to be coy. A low cut dress here, a calculated brush of the hand there, even the outright flirtatious remarks, but he's just not biting at the bait! Sure, maybe you've made out, but despite your additional hints he hasn't tried to get into your pants yet. And you DEFINITELY want in his.
It's time to bring in the big guns. It's time for him to seduce you NOW. No more Miss Coy. It is time to serve that boy up some drinks that will hopefully help him relax just enough to notice that you're wearing that extra low-cut top for a reason.
Here are a few surefire cocktail recipes that will insure "lucky you" makes an appearance tonight...
The Margarita
2 parts tequila
1 part Triple Sec
½ part lime juice
Kosher Salt
Prepare fresh lime juice ahead of time by juicing 8-10 limes.
Salt the rim of a glass and fill with ice. Place Margarita ingredients in a shaker with ice and shake until too cold to hold. Pour into salted glass and enjoy as your man feels the fun flirtations of this classic party drink.
The Caribou Lou
1 ½ parts 151 proof Rum
1 part Malibu® Coconut Rum
5 parts pineapple juice
Stir ingredients together in a highball glass, add ice, serve. The exotic coconut and pineapple in this drink are reminiscent of a sexy beach vacation and should have him running his hands over you as if he were rubbing in tanning lotion. If his hand hasn't made its way to your zipper yet, then we're gonna have to bring out the big guns....
The Throw Me Against the Wall
2 shots of Whiskey
Ginger Ale
Lime Juice
Grab a lo-ball glass and fill with ice. Add whiskey, top off with ginger ale, and add a generous squeeze of lime juice. Stir. Then enjoy the feeling of your back slamming into the wall as he grabs your ass and lifts you off the ground to have you wrap your legs around his waist. The good part has just begun... you ready?
The We Won't Remember This in the Morning
1 Liter of Vodka
Bottle of Orange Juice
Take two shot glasses, pour shots of vodka, drink, chase with OJ, and repeat. For a sexy twist, make it a body shot. Keep in mind, you may not remember the sex in the morning... perhaps that's the perfect excuse for round two?
September 3, 2011
August 31, 2011
Breakfast For Champions (and not champions)
So last night you met up with a hot new guy. Things were going well, he was funny and charming, you know you looked sexy, one thing led to another, birds and bees had a conference, and voila. You're waking up with his drooling face next to you. Well then.
The morning after can yield almost anything. Maybe you have fallen head over heels for the man of your dreams. Maybe it was just you enjoying a wild one night stand that rocked your recently-celibate world. More often than you'd like perhaps it was that terrible experience you would rather forget, have no intention of telling anyone about and are mildly ashamed to remember. We hope for your sake he wasn't THAT bad.
But regardless of how he was, there's no more polite a way to express your feelings than by making the man breakfast.
For the wild night one night stand: You Rocked My World Bagel Sandwich
Cuz a bagel is round, like the world. Right? Right.
2 large eggs
2 Bagels (any savory flavor will do)
Cheese (cheddar is our top pick, but parmesan is also good)
Bacon or Sausage (your choice)
Mayo
Cholula (or whatever hot sauce you have on hand)
Slice Bagels in half and toast them in whatever contraption you see fit. Take your bacon/sausage and cook it in fry pan on medium-high heat, saving the drippings in the pan for cooking the eggs. Set meat aside once cooked through, lower heat to medium, and add eggs to warm pan. Fry eggs until just cooked, not runny and not over cooked. Flip the eggs real quick just as they're finishing cooking. Once eggs have been flipped, top them with cheese. Spread mayo and cholula on bagel, top with egg and meat and serve.
The spicy and savory deliciousness will set off fireworks in his mouth, much like his performance in your bed last night set you off. Hopefully.
Breakfast for having found Mr. Right: Perfect-Wife Pancakes with Bacon and Scrambled Eggs
You need to set the man straight on how great a catch you are if you plan to keep him around long term.
Pancakes
(As adapted from Allrecipes.com)
1 C all-purpose flour
1 ½ tablespoons white sugar
2 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
1 C soy milk (or regular milk if that's what you have on hand)
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tsp vegetable oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a small bowl, mix the vanilla soy milk, egg, oil, vanilla extract, and almond extract. Pour the soy milk mixture into the bowl with the flour mixture, and whisk together until smooth.
Grease a skillet and heat over medium low heat. Pour about ¼ cup batter onto the heated skillet and cook until bubbly. Flip with a spatula and continue cooking about 1 minute, until golden brown. Repeat with the remaining batter. Keep finished pancakes in the oven (low temp) so they stay warm while you finish the rest.
Serve with real maple syrup and butter
Bacon
1 package thick cut bacon
brown sugar
pepper
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lay bacon flat on sheet pan and sprinkle with pepper and brown sugar. Bake until desired doneness is achieved.
Scrambled Eggs
4 large eggs
milk, cream, soymilk (choose one)
salt
pepper
1 tsp butter
parmesan cheese
In a bowl scramble raw eggs with a splash of milk type product, salt and pepper to taste, and shredded parmesan. Melt butter in pan, add eggs, and cook over medium low heat, constantly stirring and releasing eggs from pan until cooked almost through. Remove from heat and let sit until fully cooked.
This breakfast will inevitably look like something out of a Martha Stewart catalogue, and he won't be able to stop the swelling of warm fuzzy feelings in his heart. You are a domestic Goddess now.
Breakfast for The Mistake: Prison Food
Burnt Toast
2 slices bread (moldy or stale bread is fine too)
Old butter (or none)
Place 2 slices of bread in toaster and set to highest heat/longest time. Once overcooked, put old butter on it if you happen to have any, and serve to him as you show him to the door. If he protests, claim that was all you had in the house and he needs to leave so you can wash your hair. If you have his number, delete it immediately.
The morning after can yield almost anything. Maybe you have fallen head over heels for the man of your dreams. Maybe it was just you enjoying a wild one night stand that rocked your recently-celibate world. More often than you'd like perhaps it was that terrible experience you would rather forget, have no intention of telling anyone about and are mildly ashamed to remember. We hope for your sake he wasn't THAT bad.
But regardless of how he was, there's no more polite a way to express your feelings than by making the man breakfast.
For the wild night one night stand: You Rocked My World Bagel Sandwich
Cuz a bagel is round, like the world. Right? Right.
2 large eggs
2 Bagels (any savory flavor will do)
Cheese (cheddar is our top pick, but parmesan is also good)
Bacon or Sausage (your choice)
Mayo
Cholula (or whatever hot sauce you have on hand)
Slice Bagels in half and toast them in whatever contraption you see fit. Take your bacon/sausage and cook it in fry pan on medium-high heat, saving the drippings in the pan for cooking the eggs. Set meat aside once cooked through, lower heat to medium, and add eggs to warm pan. Fry eggs until just cooked, not runny and not over cooked. Flip the eggs real quick just as they're finishing cooking. Once eggs have been flipped, top them with cheese. Spread mayo and cholula on bagel, top with egg and meat and serve.
The spicy and savory deliciousness will set off fireworks in his mouth, much like his performance in your bed last night set you off. Hopefully.
Breakfast for having found Mr. Right: Perfect-Wife Pancakes with Bacon and Scrambled Eggs
You need to set the man straight on how great a catch you are if you plan to keep him around long term.
Pancakes
(As adapted from Allrecipes.com)
1 C all-purpose flour
1 ½ tablespoons white sugar
2 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
1 C soy milk (or regular milk if that's what you have on hand)
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tsp vegetable oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a small bowl, mix the vanilla soy milk, egg, oil, vanilla extract, and almond extract. Pour the soy milk mixture into the bowl with the flour mixture, and whisk together until smooth.
Grease a skillet and heat over medium low heat. Pour about ¼ cup batter onto the heated skillet and cook until bubbly. Flip with a spatula and continue cooking about 1 minute, until golden brown. Repeat with the remaining batter. Keep finished pancakes in the oven (low temp) so they stay warm while you finish the rest.
Serve with real maple syrup and butter
Bacon
1 package thick cut bacon
brown sugar
pepper
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lay bacon flat on sheet pan and sprinkle with pepper and brown sugar. Bake until desired doneness is achieved.
Scrambled Eggs
4 large eggs
milk, cream, soymilk (choose one)
salt
pepper
1 tsp butter
parmesan cheese
In a bowl scramble raw eggs with a splash of milk type product, salt and pepper to taste, and shredded parmesan. Melt butter in pan, add eggs, and cook over medium low heat, constantly stirring and releasing eggs from pan until cooked almost through. Remove from heat and let sit until fully cooked.
This breakfast will inevitably look like something out of a Martha Stewart catalogue, and he won't be able to stop the swelling of warm fuzzy feelings in his heart. You are a domestic Goddess now.
Breakfast for The Mistake: Prison Food
Burnt Toast
2 slices bread (moldy or stale bread is fine too)
Old butter (or none)
Place 2 slices of bread in toaster and set to highest heat/longest time. Once overcooked, put old butter on it if you happen to have any, and serve to him as you show him to the door. If he protests, claim that was all you had in the house and he needs to leave so you can wash your hair. If you have his number, delete it immediately.
Aunt Flo is in town, train your Hero before it's too late.
Once a month the uterus becomes alive and angry, making a desperate attempt at turning itself inside out and escaping by pushing its way through the abdomen. The monster within takes over our otherwise good natured selves, potentially turning us into a raging hormonal beast (or just weepy piles of what was once 'woman').
That is, of course, until the cure is presented to the battleground. The cure comes in the shape of warm, drizzly, heart warming, monster-battling, hormone-reducing homemade chocolate syrup. Oh yes. You read that right. Homemade. You may think, "Why make it? It's $3 at the grocery store and I'm lazy." Homemade because it's not only better, but much easier than you'd think. Plus, you're not necessarily making it! The true test of his dedication is how well he can make this for you! Bonus points if you don't have to ask....
This recipe is so darn simple even the most prehistoric caveman can master it and become the hero of every uterus-possessed girl who has caught his eye (but most importantly, your hero).
The sauce can be assembled in a matter of minutes and served over ice cream, hot cake, mixed into milk, eaten from a very large spoon (or a bowl if that's your style), or drizzled over your lover.
Ingredients
1 ⅔ C Unsweetened cocoa powder (DON'T skimp on quality here!*)
1 ⅔ C Sugar
1 ¼ C Water
½ tsp Vanilla Extract (Almond Extract makes a nice variation)
Combine all ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir occasionally until combined. Once combined lower heat to temperature cool enough to touch (and use). **That's it. Yup. Really. Told you a caveman could do it.
Now make him pour it all in a jar for you to eat out of later, perhaps have him add a cute love note (as long as it doesn't make you puke) or a bow, and you're set for the next 5 days. Well, once he's made an ice cream run...
*The better quality cocoa powder, the better the syrup. Try Godiva, Ghirardelli, or a local spice shop favorite before you grab the Nestle or local store brand.
**Stores in the refrigerator for a few months.
That is, of course, until the cure is presented to the battleground. The cure comes in the shape of warm, drizzly, heart warming, monster-battling, hormone-reducing homemade chocolate syrup. Oh yes. You read that right. Homemade. You may think, "Why make it? It's $3 at the grocery store and I'm lazy." Homemade because it's not only better, but much easier than you'd think. Plus, you're not necessarily making it! The true test of his dedication is how well he can make this for you! Bonus points if you don't have to ask....
This recipe is so darn simple even the most prehistoric caveman can master it and become the hero of every uterus-possessed girl who has caught his eye (but most importantly, your hero).
The sauce can be assembled in a matter of minutes and served over ice cream, hot cake, mixed into milk, eaten from a very large spoon (or a bowl if that's your style), or drizzled over your lover.
Ingredients
1 ⅔ C Unsweetened cocoa powder (DON'T skimp on quality here!*)
1 ⅔ C Sugar
1 ¼ C Water
½ tsp Vanilla Extract (Almond Extract makes a nice variation)
Combine all ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir occasionally until combined. Once combined lower heat to temperature cool enough to touch (and use). **That's it. Yup. Really. Told you a caveman could do it.
Now make him pour it all in a jar for you to eat out of later, perhaps have him add a cute love note (as long as it doesn't make you puke) or a bow, and you're set for the next 5 days. Well, once he's made an ice cream run...
*The better quality cocoa powder, the better the syrup. Try Godiva, Ghirardelli, or a local spice shop favorite before you grab the Nestle or local store brand.
**Stores in the refrigerator for a few months.
It begins.
Dating is a rocky road full of unexpected results. Men are seemingly simple creatures, but underneath that typical layer of 'guy-ness' there lies a deeper more intricate layer that confuses most women who reach it. No amount of effort ever seems to uncover the mystery lying there, and so despite men's complaint that women are "impossible to understand", little do they realize the same goes for them. Everywhere you turn you'll hear anecdotes and sayings that are used to try and assist the understanding of men-folk (or make excuses for them).
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. If a man answers, hang up. He's just not that into you. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
As entertaining as these all are, they rarely give us any true understanding of the realm of machismo surrounding us. Obviously men and women are both from Earth, not a faraway planet. If a man answers, why would you hang up the phone if you're trying to keep his interest in you a positive one? Yah, maybe he isn't that into you, but man some of them are good at faking it, so how do you know? The stomach is totally not connected to his heart, that's just stupid. Or is it? After all, food is a necessary fuel for human beings, one that gives your body the energy to do things like oh... say, pump your heart. Yah yah I know technically your brain does that, but you've gotta keep it all alive somehow right?
Let's explore this further, shall we? After all, if the way to a man's heart is really through his stomach, indirectly or not, then why not give them all some well deserved heartburn?
Join us as we explore the world of men, dating, and how food can help you (or hurt you) in learning to understand your man. Or any man.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. If a man answers, hang up. He's just not that into you. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
As entertaining as these all are, they rarely give us any true understanding of the realm of machismo surrounding us. Obviously men and women are both from Earth, not a faraway planet. If a man answers, why would you hang up the phone if you're trying to keep his interest in you a positive one? Yah, maybe he isn't that into you, but man some of them are good at faking it, so how do you know? The stomach is totally not connected to his heart, that's just stupid. Or is it? After all, food is a necessary fuel for human beings, one that gives your body the energy to do things like oh... say, pump your heart. Yah yah I know technically your brain does that, but you've gotta keep it all alive somehow right?
Let's explore this further, shall we? After all, if the way to a man's heart is really through his stomach, indirectly or not, then why not give them all some well deserved heartburn?
Join us as we explore the world of men, dating, and how food can help you (or hurt you) in learning to understand your man. Or any man.
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